The Staffroom Grapevine - Part 2

there is always someone in our lives whom everybody can live without. an aunt, a classmate, a neighbor, a celebrity figure.

for me, that person is *drumroll*

The Bully.

she terrorizes the staffroom like no other. she prowls around the corridors and preys on unsuspecting innocent creatures (like ME) and does what she does best:

BULLIES.

now, you must be thinking, "a teacher being a bully? what is that all about?"

(okay, maybe you're not thinking that. but whatever. you should, so that the following sentence is of use to you:)

YES. The Bully is the only teacher in the school whom i would gladly like to see resign and perhaps join the navy and be shipped off to Antarctica to live with penguins.

The Bully is tall, fair, blonde(ish) and 50-something years old. when she enters the Staffroom, all the teachers that happen to be present there avert her gaze, hoping and praying that she doesn't strike up a conversation with them. because unlike normal chit-chat and banter, this is what The Bully talks about:

"my daughter and her husband are having a grand time vacationing in Italy! where have YOUR children been for their holidays?"

"my grandchildren say the funniest things. they love how active i am with them! all my other friends praise me for how fit i look. what diet are you on? are you even on a diet?"

"i'm renovating my house in London. you hear that? LONDON. do you know how expensive it is? oh, maybe you don't. what kind of properties do you own?"

"your earrings are lovely! i had a similar pair a couple of years ago when they were in style. i sold them off a while back at a cheap price, because that's what they are now, don't you agree? how much gold have you bought this year?"

apart from all of her showing-off and nosiness, you know what is really perturbing?

the fact that she has got her eyes on ME.

why me?

because i'm her favourite victim.

why am i her favourite victim?

(okay, i need to stop asking so many questions)

because I'M THE YOUNGEST. all my life i've been taught to treat all adults with respect, which has gotten me into loads of tricky situations recently. being a teacher's assistant, i am obligated to help my fellow faculty members in whichever way i can, ONLY if it concerns actual work related to the syllabus.

The Bully takes advantage of my position and asks me to do stuff totally unrelated to what i am employed for.

example 1:

The Bully: come here!

me: yes?

The Bully: get me a glass of water!

example 2:

The Bully: come here!

me: yes?

The Bully: carry my bag for me!

(i-wish-this-were-an) example 3:

The Bully: come here!

me: *runs away screaming*

i am not a personal assistant. my job is teaching children specific parts of their syllabus, NOT carrying other teachers' stuff around like a peon. i know, i should stand up for myself and learn to say 'no', but that 'no' could get me fired. The Bully has been around for 9 years, and since this is only my first year, i have almost no right to point out how unfair she is most of the time. plus, she's an adult. and old adult. i am nothing but a duckling in front of her dinosaur-ness, which in The Bully's eyes translates into me being too inexperienced to even open my mouth.

maybe one day, when i'm a proper lady and The Bully announces her retirement, i shall tell her how mean she has been to me, and how i have silently burdened myself with all the things she has asked me to do for her. she'll probably have this reply ready for me:

"well, at least i'm rich."

yeah and then i'll only have your support to help me get over it, haha.

x

click here to read The Staffroom Grapevine - Part 1

The Staffroom Grapevine - Part 1

being the youngest member of the faculty where i work, i've been subjected to many different kinds of behavior from the other teachers, varying from being cuddled, teased, advised and loved to being downright bullied. i've been thinking that since i always post about my students, i should share some experiences on my blog that i've had with my colleagues, too.

so, i've decided to make a series, where i shall post about any funny/adorable/horrible experiences that i've had with certain teachers. since i'm really awful at timings, i won't fix a day of the week to post a part of the series. instead, i'll post whenever i feel like, and whenever i remember an experience worthy of being posted here :D

okay. i'm starting now. *drumroll*

x

being a teacher is loads of fun. i get to work in an amazing environment. i adore all the children i teach, and feel totally awesome that i'm contributing to their knowledge and helping them shape their future.

there's a completely different side of being a teacher where i work, though. i won't call it the dark or ugly side, because i'm not advertising fairness cream. this side is called:

The Staffroom Grapevine.

that's right. the school staffroom is one of the scariest places i have encountered in my entire life. the teachers gather there like a flock of vultures in their free time and discuss things.

what things?

EVIL THINGS.

by evil things, i mean 'gossip'. gossip is the one thing that can (rarely) make and (surely) break a person's reputation. usually the subject of their gossip is... *gasp* ANOTHER TEACHER.

yes, certain teachers can be cruel like that.

though not all of the teachers in the school visit the staffroom, majority of them do, which is why i've decided to collectively call whatever they do a part of The Staffroom Grapevine.

i'm going to describe one particular character without whom the staffroom would not be the same:

The Gossipy Aunty.

(the only reason that i'm calling her The Gossipy Aunty is because i can't think of any other alias for her.)

okay.

The Gossipy Aunty is one of a kind. she wears tons of makeup and prefers wearing jeans and a tee instead of standard shalwar-kameez. she's a subject teacher, which means that she isn't a teacher of a particular classroom. when she enters the staffroom, all heads turn and every teacher in her presence greets here like she's their BFF. truth is, no matter how much the other teachers feel that they're on the best of terms with her, The Gossipy Aunty is nobody's friend. the second anyone steps out of the threshold of the staffroom, The Gossipy Aunty starts gossiping about them like there's no tomorrow.

an example; 

Random Insignificant Teacher: hello!

The Gossipy Aunty: oh hi darling, how are you?

Random Insignificant Teacher: i'm f-

The Gossipy Aunty: uff! the kids from classroom so-and-so drove me crazy today. doesn't help that their class teacher doesn't know how to control them. in my opinion, she should be fired. you know she's more interested in what everyone else is wearing? truly despicable.

Random Insignificant Teacher: oh, really? i thought-

The Gossipy Aunty: no, dear. that's what it is. you don't know her like i do.

Random Insignificant Teacher: i see. well i must be off-

The Gossipy Aunty: yes of course, you have to teach those brats now! good luck, dear. off you go. talk to you later. ta!

*Random Insignificant Teacher exits*

The Gossipy Aunty: *turns to face the rest of the teachers of the staffroom* you know what i heard about the Random Insignificant Teacher a while ago? it's too much, really.

I SWEAR, this kind of stuff actually happens. The Gossipy Aunty will talk about anybody and everybody. what baffles me is that the other teachers haven't caught on the fact that if The Gossipy Aunty talks about everyone, she must be talking about them, too. the rest of the teachers are hypnotized by the tales of others' misfortunes, regaled by The Gossipy Aunty herself.

though i haven't really been in the staffroom of any other school, i'm pretty sure the amount of gossip that the school where i work in has can be found nowhere else.

x

there are loads of other interesting characters that i've saved up for later posts :D i would really appreciate your opinion on this series (it's the first one i've made based on my personal experiences!) and whether you would like me to continue with this or not.

love you all!

♥