Thursday, March 21, 2013

How I Snuck Into A VIP Event And Got Hit On By A Celebrity

2018 edit: I had to wipe out the celebrity's face for privacy reasons LOL.
Hello, fellow bloggers!

Allow me to channel my inner Captain Obvious and state: it's been a long time. If there was an award for Most Blogging Hiatuses Ever, I would probably get it.

I hope you guys didn't miss me too much. I've been pretty regular on Twitter though, mostly because it involves just spurts of random stuff and nothing too coherent. I care a lot about you guys which is why I wait for something that I can write a lot about to share with you all, plus I enjoy the feeling I get when I type out something gigantic once in a while. I can't promise you that this 'once in a while' will come sooner and sooner, but believe me, abandoning this blog is definitely not part of the plan - so don't worry!

^ Yeah, that paragraph sounded like something an aunty would write. Whatever. (But it's true, okay)

What I am about to tell you all today, folks, is how I snuck into a VIP EVENT and got hit on by a celebrity (because you know, I can never trust you all to read the title of this post).

So, yes.

It all began when my cousins, brother and I decided to head over the the nearest mall for dinner. We were being raucous and rowdy, as usual (since you know, the concepts of manners and politeness and etiquette do not apply to family members of the same age group).

We headed to the food court, when suddenly, we saw:


(Fatburger is a fast food restaurant chain.)

Apparently, Fatburger launched in Pakistan, in our city, in OUR mall. Which was great news. Because you know, BURGERS ARE GOOD AND FATTENING AND DELICIOUS AND FATTENING AND SCRUMPTIOUS AND FATTENING AND GLORIOUS AND FATTENING.

Also, they're fattening.

But the day we saw Fatburger at the mall was no ordinary day, people. It was apparently the opening of Fatburger, which meant it was a VIP Invite-Only Closed Event. Which meant, the general public would not be able to visit Fatburger that day, but rather, the day after that. Fatburger had invited a bunch of celebrities, ranging from actors, singers, models, politicians, journalists and food critics (though food critics hardly count as celebrities - they're just picky eaters who happen to be snobby). And they would not tolerate any member of the random, lower class public to enter their restaurant, not with such dignified people present.

So, my cousin decided to go there anyway.

As soon as he tried to walk in, he was stopped by some bouncers (YES, THERE WERE BOUNCERS) who were pretending to be macho by wearing tight fitted black t-shirts and sunglasses indoors, at night. *suppresses a snort of laughter*

(yes, there was a red carpet and velvet-rope scene too)

The bouncers stated that Fatburger would be open to the general public the next day, and filthy scum like us would not be allowed to mingle with the famous people at the launch event. Dejected, all of us cousins had to go to the opposite restaurant, which was Gun Smoke.

From left to right: Myself, two of my cousins, my brother, and another cousin.

Regardless of the fact that Gun Smoke is an amazing restaurant with brilliant food, we were all pretty disappointed with how rude the Fatburger people were being. Just so that they could establish their reputation as an upper-class, rich, snobby restaurant, they weren't allowing in the people who they actually NEEDED to serve! After all, with the models' and actors' diets, Fatburger would be a pretty dumb place for them to go (but the fact that half of the people in our media are uneducated and hungry for limelight explains the massive celebrity turnout).

Anyway, my cousin (the one who had approached the bouncer) took the whole thing as a challenge. After we had finished eating dinner, he told all of us that he was going to attempt to...


We thought he was joking. But he actually got up, left Gun Smoke, and stood outside Fatburger, pretending to be busy on his phone. As soon as the bouncers were occupied telling off another member of the general public scum that they weren't allowed into the royal area of the restaurant, my cousin calmly stepped over the velvet ropes and strutted inside Fatburger as if he owned the place.

My other two cousins, brother and I thought that he was going to be kicked out any second. But after five minutes had passed and there was no sign of a scuffle, we were convinced that our brave cousin had achieved the impossible.

Around ten minutes later, my cousin came out of Fatburger and beckoned to the rest of us to come in. Since the bouncers seemed to be interested in acting all macho and looking off towards nowhere - in an attempt to appear nonchalant yet exuding power (and FAILING, if I may add) - my cousins, brother and I also quietly slipped between them, over the velvet ropes and into the restaurant.

Fatburger was absolutely packed. There was no place to sit. Everywhere I looked, there were TV actors and actresses, singers, models that were usually seen on billboards and in magazines, and a bunch of people who looked important and very high-society-ish thanks to their upturned noses.

My cousins and I wandered around the restaurant, pretending to be cool and indifferent. But on the inside, all of us were feeling like:


We were being scrutinized by some of the people in the restaurant. OBVIOUSLY, since everyone had come in formal attire, all of us were looking so out of place in our hoodies and tees. WE WERE THE LOWER CLASS. WE WERE DIRT. SCUM. GUM (stuck on the bottom of an unsuspecting person's shoe). But after one intense glance, everyone looked away. Probably because they assumed we entered with an invitation, which meant we were part of the K3WL G@NG.

Here's some of the madness that took place inside Fatburger (thankfully after we left):

LOL. Look at all these adults, assuming that they're all part of the upper class just because they got to take pictures of a man dancing on one of the tables. Pfffft.

Oh, also:

This COULD have happened if I had stuck around for a while more.

Anyway, it was awesome to be a trespasser for a while. The thrill in the entire affair wasn't that we were amongst people who thought of themselves to be really high and mighty, but rather the fact that we totally gatecrashed and NOBODY NOTICED.

Just as we had had enough of Fatburger and were about to leave, my sight landed on someone.

Someone very familiar. Not because I knew him personally, but because...



His name isn't YAK (these are his initials), but I'm pretty scared that he'll google his name one of these days and read this post and I'll get into heaps of trouble for telling everyone what happened, regardless of how minor it may be (but it isn't minor okay, it's pretty awesome so READ ON, FOLKS).


(Okay, please ignore the above statement. That wasn't me, all right. That was my alter personality who apparently likes to be vocal about one's suppressed cheap thoughts.)

YAK was there, in Fatburger. I watched this drama, called Meri Saheli Meri Hamjoli (My Friend, My Companion) in which he made an appearance for a few episodes (perhaps 20) towards the end. He played a divorcee doctor, looking for a suitable wife to remarry. And there was a massive fight over two friends-cum-sisters-in-law (one, a widow and the other also a divorcee) over him. AND THE WIDOW WON, SORRY FOR SPOILING IT FOR YOU GUYS HAHAHAHA. Here's proof of the fact that he's an actor:

An advertisement for his TV Drama. (The text says: Who will become Umar's bride? Umar being YAK's character)

And a model:

So, yeah. Seeing a celebrity that became a household name in such a short while was pretty overwhelming and exciting, which is why the first thing I did when I saw him was:

I was in a dilemma. To rush to him and beg for his autograph, or to just savor the fact that I was in the same vicinity as him and watch him leave from afar? The former would make for a great experience, whereas the latter would just cause many wistful sighs and thoughts of "what could have been" in the future.

Being the extremely relaxed person and awesome decision maker that I am, I approached him as coolly and calmly as I could.

I asked him to stop (since he was leaving), which he surprisingly did. I mean, seriously, when all you expect from celebrities is being snobby and using hand sanitizer after they brush their tips of their fingers against yours in a feeble attempt to shake hands, someone famous actually STOPPING at your request is quite an unexpected phenomenon.

Good lord, seeing him up close was actually unnerving. I mean, all this while he had been that polite, well-mannered doctor on TV just looking for a sweet girl to marry. And now, here he was (WEARING THE SAME PANTS AS HE HAD WORN IN ONE OF THE EPISODES, IF I MAY ADD), in front of me, with that polite smile of someone expecting you to say something first, and a very, VERY adorable dimple.

I (with a voice that didn't waver, which is an achievement), asked YAK if he was the same guy in the MSMH drama. He said yes (which he didn't need to, but I had to keep that cool I-just-may-not-know-you stance of mine), and that lead me to tell him how much I enjoyed the drama, his character and the entire story. I told him I was a really big fan of his, to which he smiled, and thanked me.


We then proceeded to have general small talk that a star-struck fan and a celebrity would have on any regular day. It involved me asking him a lot of questions, such as:

- HOW OLD ARE YOU?! (23)
- WHY ARE YOU SO HOT? (*embarrassed smile*)

After asking enough questions to fill in a dictionary-sized questionnaire, I thanked him profusely for his time and complimented him on how gracious he was with his (hyperactive and slightly deluded) fan (which, goes without saying, was me). As I turned to leave, I heard...


I wheeled right back to face him. With a half-smile, he said:

"You're really beautiful. Add me on Facebook?"


That, certainly, was unexpected.

I didn't know what to say. After all, it's not everyday that one encounters such situations, nor knows many people who have been through the same. He was looking at me expectantly, so there was not much I could do except... Ask for his Facebook ID. (I ONLY HAD ONE AND A HALF SECONDS TO THINK, OKAY, STOP JUDGING ME.) He gave it to me (so not gonna share it with you guys), and then with a final "lovely meeting you", he left the restaurant. 

I was flummoxed. Flabbergasted. Bamboozled. Stunned. Nonplussed. Astonished (using is addictive, all right?!). Jokes aside, I really was bewildered at the exchange that took place. In all honesty, perhaps he may have not exactly hit on me, but complimenting me and asking me to add him on Facebook translated into something of that sort in my mind at that moment.

So, when I got home, the first thing I did was look him up on Facebook. He was there. I decided to play it cool and add him the next day. I ended up adding him five minutes later (leading the belief I have of myself to be the person with the weakest resolve ever to be enforced a thousand times over). He accepted it within an hour, which made my day (technically it was night, but who cares) brighter than ever!

It's been more than 2 months since this incident has occurred. I have spoken to YAK a few times, and he has been absolutely lovely to talk with. However, I fear the charm and novelty of the entire situation will fade the more and more I converse with him. Hence, there isn't anything more to share with you all (which is great actually, since I'm tired of typing). 

And for all of you who think the entire above story was a figment of my hyperactive imagination (I don't blame you for that, though), here's PROOF!

That's YAK and I in the middle, with two of my cousins, at Fatburger. SO YEAH.


Note to my followers (especially those whose blogs I follow):

I can't make any promises about posting regularly due to A Level examinations looming over my head. However, if any of you know how to contact me (which most of you do, thanks to your ultra creepy stalking skills), PLEASE let me know whenever you publish a new blog post so that I can read it! 

Also, I turned 19 years old on 6th March. I didn't even write a birthday post for myself like I usually do. I'm a terrible person. :(

See you all, hopefully sooner than you think (but probably not).

Love and hugs!