Friday, December 7, 2012

The Zit

It was like any other day.

I woke up late, struggled to get out of bed, and headed straight to the bathroom.

I looked in the mirror and the first thing I saw was...


A ZIT.

On the corner of my mouth.

It was the size of an elephant, detracting all attention from my other facial features, hogging the limelight, shining like an active volcano.

Well, in all honesty, it was really tiny, but whatever.

It was my first noticeable zit in a while. Regardless of that fact, I wasn't too perturbed. After all, I was going to be home all day. It would dry up and disappear by the next morning. No one would have to see my face. No one would need to know that a blemish had ever made an appearance. NO ONE.

Until my mum said...


GUESTS?! We hadn't had guests in over a month. Who the bloody heck wanted to pay us a visit when my face decided to decorate itself with Rudolph's red nose?!

MY RELATIVES, THAT'S WHO.

Relatives who seemed to have timed their visit perfectly with the day I looked like I attached a clown's nose to the corner of my mouth. Relatives whose evil plan was to see me when my face was not blemish-free, for lord knows what reason. Relatives who made sure to put me through emotional turmoil and excruciating moments of self consciousness with their arrival.

...

I'm not even exaggerating, okay. For me, at that time, my relatives were evil. They were the enemy.

Anyway, twenty minutes into the gathering, when everyone had made themselves comfortable and had moved on from polite small-talk to actual conversation, a shrill voice rose into the air:

"FURREE, YOU'VE GOT A PIMPLE!"

Me:


The zit had been noticed.

How could anyone be so cruel? Mocking me, in my own territory? Why point out my blemish in front of more than fifteen people? I mean, dude, seriously. EVERYONE gets zits. It wasn't exactly a very rare sighting. It's not like people come from all over the world to see the phenomenon of a zit erupting on my face. 

"only comes around once in a millennium, folks!"

WHY EVEN MENTION IT?! No one was standing there, giving out a prize for the first person to notice my unfortunate blemish. It wasn't the jubilee round of 'Spot The Zit' going on. Hmph.

In that moment, I utterly despised and abhorred the relative who had pointed my zit out. It was SO awkward, having everyone turn their attention towards me and just stare at my face, trying to locate the source of all the hullabaloo. (OMG did I just use the word 'hullabaloo'? FOR REAL?)

This triggered off a chain of extremely unwanted reactions:

"You should put TOOTHPASTE on it! It will dry up overnight!"
"Pop the damn thing!"
"Whatever you do, don't touch it! It can spread all over your face!"
"My poor baby-waby, gotta wittle pimple?"
"She's just going through a hormonal phase, like I read it up like, online!"

Me:


I didn't want the opinions of a million people regarding my little zit. It was MY zit, for goodness' sake! I could have handled the affair quite nicely, were it not for the penchant that some relatives of mine had for stating the obvious. Sigh.

Moving on, the rest of the day went fine, apart from the quick glances people were taking at my poor zit. Towards the end of the day, when the guests had left, I was so exhausted from all that useless banter that I fell asleep early. When I woke up the next morning...

It was still there. Oh well, on the bright side, no guests were coming over.

(OR WERE THEY?!?!?!)

23 comments:

Lioness Without A Pride said...

Like, dude. Zits are the worst. Especially when they ITCH and STING and you have to ignore them! I was happily zit-free for the first eighteen years of my life but then they started to appear. One by one. Like an army of Inferi rising from the placid lake that was once my face :(

I have a friend who is Malayali and she's knowledgeable about ayurveda and things - yeah she's a walking cliche - and she gave me this tip:

Pluck some tender fresh neem leaves.
Drop them in some water -not necessarily hot water, even lukewarm is fine.
Let that sit for eight to ten hours.
Wash your face with it.
Let it dry under the fan ie don't wipe your face with a towel.

And that's it! Apparently they'll be gone, provided you do this for a week or two I guess. I've never tried it though. I should, but my Inferi come and go, they don't stick around for long. Which is good.

Kashaf A. said...

Haha poor Bay-Bee :P

LOL. I don't really mine zits until and unless they are on my forehead or chin. Then i can't stop touching it. It is so annoying. Daniyal told me to chop that certain part out which the zit sits upon, once.

And then last week i got this one on my left cheek and i couldn't stop touching it. I finally plucked it out during my Maths paper and then i stopped suddenly, exclaiming that ohmigod what did i just do?

Distracted me from the whole paper. Pfft.

Zeba said...

Aw, you pretty you. I don't care about no zits. You are the most beautiful to me. And thanks for the comments on my blog. They really did make my day. <3

Daniyal said...

Poke It Until It Start Bleeding. :D

Talitha said...

What about the little zit...It must have felt soo bashful no??!
Those drawings are lovely Furree,are you taking in any custom orders soon??
What I hate most are the hormonal comments...damn,why yell it out??
Hot chocolate for you poor baby for having to live through that harrowing ordeal!

quartertoinsane said...

The zit aside, that story was awesome!!!! XD

Farooq Habib said...

You are just hilarious. And you said one thing that i can very easily relate to. The part where people decide to come over to your place when its not an appropriate time. They dont strike even a minute earlier or later, they somehow plan it perfectly and attack when you least expect it.

Nas said...

It'll be gone soon! I read your blog for the pictures (and the writing too of course).

Like for example your last picture of you. You either have black sweat or a patch of hair that is unattached to all your other hair :P

Stay smiling.

Martin Alexander said...

Your 'dude wtf!' picture has internet meme potential! Should we spread it?

And the truth comes out:
You ARE human!!

"...baby-waby, gotta wittle pimple?" cracked me up. As did the valley girl who researched "hormonal phase" on Wikipedia.

Hope some pictures were taken....

Lioness Without A Pride said...

@Nas - I think it's something like a sign of duress! Like in Shin-chan, they get these lines near their eyes to show that they are angry/pissed off. Haha I can't believe you noticed something like that!

eddiesdomain said...

Hilarious ho yar :P cracked me up :D

Ghadeer said...

I don't understand why people feel the need to tell you when you have a zit! I do own a mirror, thanks -_-

anasshafqat said...

It is pathetic when people do such things to make conversation -_-
This would only provoke hostile glances from the one pointed out.

Sorry about the zit though.

P.S Toothpaste really works like a charm ;)

Laila N Mysis said...

Reminds me of Taylor Swift, singing: 'You
have pointed out my flaws again
as if I don't already see them
'

Be brave, young grasshopper, be brave (:

Furree Katt said...

@Lioness Without A Pride, I despise zits! I get them whenever I am stressed or if I forget to wash + cleanse + tone + moisturize my face EVERY SINGLE DAY. I have tried the neem remedy but for my chicken pox, haha. It works! And LOL Nas really pays attention to my drawings :O

@Kashaf, Uff Daniyal's suggestion, tauba tauba. I hate zits that appear during exam time :P (and that's when they usually appear)

@Zeba, Aww thanks Zeba, that really means a lot! ♥ You're awesome.

@Daniyal, EWWW NO!

@Talitha, Hahaha yeah my zit was very bashful with all the attention it had received. Aww, thank you. If you want me to make a doodle for you, I can! :) And yayyy *drinks hot chocolate greedily*

@quartertoinsane, Haha, I'm glad you think so :D

@Farooq, LOL, thank you so much! And yeah, I swear, I hate people like that who arrive unannounced. I'm glad you can relate.

@Nas, Thank you :) and HAHA that's not an unattached piece of hair, that's the sweat like (-.-') < yeh waala. And YES IT'S BLACK SWEAT. :P

@Martin, OMG, you think so? Spread away! And seriously, I am as human as human can be. Some people are such idiots. I did take a picture of myself that day, but I edited out the blemish muahahaha.

@eddiesdomain, Thanks :)

@Ghadeer, Hahaha EXACTLY!!! I agree 100%.

@anasshafqat, LOL yeah. And I know about the toothpaste thing :P. Thankfully my zit went away on its own.

@Laila N Mysis, *becomes brave* Thanks! :)

Jayden said...

LOL this is hilarious xDDD especially the picture of people worshiping your zit. Too good!

ShuShu said...

OMG what a coincidence! I have an extra big, super read one on my nose right now. Shame about the embarrassing scene though, I feel so bad for you, but at least you ave something humourous to blog about! 10 years on, you'll be laughing when you read this post :P

Hamza Bin Ladin said...

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. This was the funniest post I've read in a long long long time. :D

Furree Katt said...

@Jayden, Hahaha thank you so much!

@ShuShu, LOL yeah this post will make a good memory for me later on :P

@Hamza, YAY, glad you think so! :D :D

PurpleMist. said...

"My poor baby-waby, gotta wittle pimple?"
LOL!

This post made me laugh a lot, thank you, I needed that :D

Voice Of Reason said...

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Laughed all through the post! And even though I totally feel your pain, your Paint skills made the whole thing funnier. Seriously, really cute drawings. :P

Maryam A. said...

HAHAHAHA.
AAWW.


Zits happen on my oh so pretty(not really) face ALL THE TIME. It's like so frustrating, and i can totally relate.

Dania said...

This is the funniest post I've read in a long time too!