Friday, December 7, 2012

The Zit

It was like any other day.

I woke up late, struggled to get out of bed, and headed straight to the bathroom.

I looked in the mirror and the first thing I saw was...


A ZIT.

On the corner of my mouth.

It was the size of an elephant, detracting all attention from my other facial features, hogging the limelight, shining like an active volcano.

Well, in all honesty, it was really tiny, but whatever.

It was my first noticeable zit in a while. Regardless of that fact, I wasn't too perturbed. After all, I was going to be home all day. It would dry up and disappear by the next morning. No one would have to see my face. No one would need to know that a blemish had ever made an appearance. NO ONE.

Until my mum said...


GUESTS?! We hadn't had guests in over a month. Who the bloody heck wanted to pay us a visit when my face decided to decorate itself with Rudolph's red nose?!

MY RELATIVES, THAT'S WHO.

Relatives who seemed to have timed their visit perfectly with the day I looked like I attached a clown's nose to the corner of my mouth. Relatives whose evil plan was to see me when my face was not blemish-free, for lord knows what reason. Relatives who made sure to put me through emotional turmoil and excruciating moments of self consciousness with their arrival.

...

I'm not even exaggerating, okay. For me, at that time, my relatives were evil. They were the enemy.

Anyway, twenty minutes into the gathering, when everyone had made themselves comfortable and had moved on from polite small-talk to actual conversation, a shrill voice rose into the air:

"FURREE, YOU'VE GOT A PIMPLE!"

Me:


The zit had been noticed.

How could anyone be so cruel? Mocking me, in my own territory? Why point out my blemish in front of more than fifteen people? I mean, dude, seriously. EVERYONE gets zits. It wasn't exactly a very rare sighting. It's not like people come from all over the world to see the phenomenon of a zit erupting on my face. 

"only comes around once in a millennium, folks!"

WHY EVEN MENTION IT?! No one was standing there, giving out a prize for the first person to notice my unfortunate blemish. It wasn't the jubilee round of 'Spot The Zit' going on. Hmph.

In that moment, I utterly despised and abhorred the relative who had pointed my zit out. It was SO awkward, having everyone turn their attention towards me and just stare at my face, trying to locate the source of all the hullabaloo. (OMG did I just use the word 'hullabaloo'? FOR REAL?)

This triggered off a chain of extremely unwanted reactions:

"You should put TOOTHPASTE on it! It will dry up overnight!"
"Pop the damn thing!"
"Whatever you do, don't touch it! It can spread all over your face!"
"My poor baby-waby, gotta wittle pimple?"
"She's just going through a hormonal phase, like I read it up like, online!"

Me:


I didn't want the opinions of a million people regarding my little zit. It was MY zit, for goodness' sake! I could have handled the affair quite nicely, were it not for the penchant that some relatives of mine had for stating the obvious. Sigh.

Moving on, the rest of the day went fine, apart from the quick glances people were taking at my poor zit. Towards the end of the day, when the guests had left, I was so exhausted from all that useless banter that I fell asleep early. When I woke up the next morning...

It was still there. Oh well, on the bright side, no guests were coming over.

(OR WERE THEY?!?!?!)