Thursday, November 15, 2012

Voices.

This is what I look like:


This is what you would assume I looked like if you never saw me and only heard my voice:

This is 3-year-old me. And yes, I have maintained my hairstyle since then.

Believe me, it's true. Whenever I answer the phone at home, people always assume I'm a little girl and ask me in their slow "I'm-the-adult-here" way of speaking to hand over the phone to either my "MUMMY" or "GRANDMUMMY". No one believes by just hearing my voice that I'm an adult myself (or very close to being one anyway). 

It makes me wonder, how different can people actually look from the visions you have in your mind whenever you hear their voice? 

This usually happens to me whenever I listen to the radio. I keep on trying to imagine what the radio jockey looks like just by their voice, and I almost always end up wrong. I regularly have to face sore disappointment if I ever come across an RJ's photo, because seriously, they look absolutely NOTHING like their voices make them seem.

An example of what happened to me:


I heard an RJ's voice on the radio, and found it immensely attractive. The guy sounded hot, funny, and cute. But when I googled him, I was disappointed. He wasn't ugly at all, but he was just... average. It's funny how your perceptions of someone become nearly other-worldy when you get attracted to something of theirs. I got attracted to his voice, and forgot that he's a completely normal person, like you and I. An RJ's job requires them to be heard but not seen, and since you need to apply your own imagination to visualize something your hear, it's almost never the same.

This hasn't just happened with me. When I used to live in Dubai, I had Russian neighbors. Whenever I was bored, I would just walk across to their villa and hang out with them. They were always very welcoming, and were so comfortable with me around that they didn't mind me tagging along with them as they went about doing their chores. One of the members in that Russian household, a lady in her late twenties, was ironing her clothes and telling me about her work. It involved talking to a lot of clients via phone call. She told me that one of the clients of the company she worked in had a very lovely voice. He sounded so charming, so warm, so lively, so sexy that she couldn't help but start obsessing over how he must look like. Only using his voice to work on, she constructed an image of him as a good-looking young gentleman who probably wore his suit everywhere and had a crush-worthy face and a powerful presence. When she heard that he would be visiting her office building soon, she was naturally extremely excited. 

Alas, she said, when he entered the office, her entire vision of him collapsed. He was a short, portly man with a large moustache and a beer gut, and looked like he was somewhere around his 50s. He didn't even have a powerful aura! My neighbor told me that he looked somewhat like a hobo. She was understandably very disappointed.

It was like this for her, and I can totally relate.

My neighbor also confided in me that she was almost in love with his voice. I told her about my radio incident, and we agreed that we both had extremely bad luck (haha).

The above incidents make me totally terrified about finding out who really dubs the voice of Behlul (actor Kıvanç Tatlıtuğ) in Urdu for the Turkish drama Aski Memnu that has been airing in Pakistan these days (under the name of Ishq-e-Mamnoon). 

(HOPEFULLY NOT!!!!!)

I have never loved a guy speaking Urdu so much, and I fear that my vision of the dubbing artist as Behlul himself is at risk to be shattered completely. :(

This brings me to a question I wanted to ask you guys: Do you think YOU could ever fall in love with a voice? And if you ever have, then how was the experience? Were you disappointed when you discovered who owned that voice and how they looked like? Or was it like you found the perfect match to your imagination?

(If you answer in the affirmative to the last question, then I swear I'm positively GREEN with envy. Haha.)

Monday, November 5, 2012

My First Rejection

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Today, I have decided to share one of my deepest, darkest secrets that I had been planning to take to the grave with me. But since I now find humour in this situation, I'm so totally writing a blog post about it!

This is the story of how I got rejected by one of the strongest crushes I have ever had.

I was only 13 when this incident happened. To this day, I'm still unsure about his age, though I'd probably say he was 15 when I first saw him.

To me, he looked like:


But in reality, he looked like:


I think puppy love does that to a person. It totally muddles up the brain and makes everything look wonderful when it's actually quite... average. I was a victim of this brain-mess-up! My friends had no idea what I saw in him (five years later, neither do I).

This epic crush-story began in the...

SCHOOL BUS.

Unlike the conventional bright yellow school buses the entire universe is accustomed to, my school bus was a strange shade of GREEN. (I think the colour contributed a whole lot to the 'strange' feelings felt in its confines.) 

Here's an incredibly detailed drawing I made to give all of you a crystal clear idea of the bus:

my drawings are just too vivid! :')

It all started during the middle of the first week of school. I got on the bus in the morning, made my way to the back where most of the girls usually sat. In the hour-long bus ride, we picked many students from their respective homes. Every time the bus stopped, a casual glance was directed towards the bus door in mild interest to see who was coming in.

AND THEN.

I SAW.

HIM.

It was exactly like this, minus the yellow background and floating hearts.

So began the stupidest and longest crush I ever had.

It went on for around nearly the entire school year, of which I spent 75% of the time staring at the back of his head with all my concentration, waiting for him to feel the telepathic waves I was sending him across the school bus. Since I was 13 at that time, I was way less gutsy and confident than I am now, hence "making the first move" was so totally not what I was ready to do.

During the first few months of this crush, he never even noticed my existence! Every time in the afternoon when I had to walk from the back of the bus to the front to exit it once my stop came, I passed him with my breath held and my heart jammed in my throat. AND HE NEVER NOTICED. Granted, I was going through my awkward stage that time and was, to put it kindly, not much of a looker, but it was pretty disappointing that I was a completely invisible person to him. I could have been one of the many pieces of used gum stuck under the bus seats for all he cared.

Anyway, doing what any unnoticed socially awkward teen does best, I stalked him on Facebook. I found his profile, and since his privacy settings weren't so strict, I could see one of his photo albums.

Ladies and gentlemen, that album was called:

"BODYBUILDER."

Now, if back then I were the way I am right now, I would have laughed my butt off and given up instantly. After all, what scrawny teen with no muscles posing in his tiled bathroom (with his t-shirt sleeves rolled up to show what were clearly not biceps but STICKS) would call himself a 'BODYBUILDER"? And what intelligent girl would fall for someone who thought the epitome of high-school success was to look like a complete douchebag?

Alas, I was a dumb fool, because at that time, my 13 year old mind processed this:

I added the duckface purely because i think he was quite capable of making it.

as this:

Image credit: http://favim.com/image/524055/

Yeah. I was an idiot.

Moving on, even though I stalked his Facebook profile a zillion times, I didn't have the courage to add him up for atleast a few months. One day, I mustered up all my courage and sent him a friend request. To my dismay, the next day he declined it and then BLOCKED ME. After being emo about it for a while, I trusted a good friend of mine to add him through her account, become friendly with him and then find out what he thought about me (because at that time, I was a persistent girl). After much convincing, my friend agreed to do my dirty work (and she was so lazy it took her like a couple of weeks just to add him). She became his Facebook friend and began Operation: Become My Friend's Crush's Friend.

FINALLY, after an agonizing month and a half, she came to me with news. But to my utmost horror, instead of just asking my crush what he thought about me, she TOLD HIM THAT I HAD A MASSIVE CRUSH ON HIM!!! That was so not my plan. I didn't want him to think that I liked him, let alone the fact that I obsessed over him every moment of everyday. I was so mad at my friend, but the feeling of anxiety and anticipation for his reply trumped that. 

AND DO YOU GUYS WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE REPLIED?????



me:

My dismay was also partially due to realizing that both my arms were sticking out from the left side of my body.

TOTALLY NOT HIS TYPE?! That was something I had never heard before regarding myself. I mean, what made me "totally not his type"? He didn't even know me!

The rage and sadness that ensued for the rest of the school year was pretty awful. I had to share the school bus with that evil cow, the guy who judged me before even knowing me. Here I was, holding the largest crush I had ever had in my heart, being all "omg-he's-so-cute" whenever the topic of him arose, and there he was being all "omg-she's-not-my-type-lolz"!

Obviously, the crush faded away very quickly after the rejection of my feelings. What I felt, though not being a 'heartbreak' (I was too young for that, seriously), was enough for me to realize that the idiot was not worth it. That, and the fact that another guy started taking interest in me so my attention was diverted to him (trust me, my middle and high school life involved a lot of better looking guys).

Today, around 5+ years later, this incident may not have played a role in changing the way I am as a person, but it has made me thankful about how I left middle and high school puppy love behind. And of course, when that idiot friend requested me a couple of days ago (I guess he unblocked me somewhere along the line), I declined his request and blocked him with a smile on my face.