i'm only 17.
some people say i'm mature for my age, and others say that i'm hopelessly childish. i understand how both these opinions are formulated. to some, i may come across as an intelligent working girl striving to earn an income to help in supporting her family. to others, i'm that annoying teen who loathes non-fiction books, listens to Drake and pulls the ears of her cat solely to hear an annoyed meow.
whatever people assume, i think that being mature or immature on different occasions is completely acceptable; after all, i'm only 17.
life should be easy. teen years should be fun. but they're not. not for me, and not for any of us anymore.
i had always looked forward to turning 17. i believed it to be the age where the transition into young adulthood began, the introduction of huge responsibilities and choices that would make our future what it is destined to be. 17 is the ultimate i'm a proper TEEN! age. that, and something more.
i've been 17 for over four months now, and i've come to terms with the reality of this age. i'm loaded with both maturity and immaturity. it's what defines me. (LOL so cliche! i did not just say that. O.O)
x
you're 17 and you find yourself sincerely hoping that the world will witness an alien invasion in 2012, so that you'll be young enough to enjoy it.
you're 17 and you look at your fingernails and think, i should have stopped biting them ages ago. too late to save them now. they'll always be short. but hey, at least they'll match your height!
you're 17 and you read about other teens and you wish your life was as awesome as theirs. what are you doing here, living like this? dude, you suck. why can't you go to concerts and on extravagant vacations or shopping sprees and own a zillion pets like they do?
you're 17 and one day you find out that all your salary that you saved has been used up to pay the bills and other pending debts. you cry bitterly; you wanted to restart studying and you needed the money to pay for tuition. but then you realize that this is the way it has to be, at least for now; you make peace with it only because you're partially responsible for the electricity and gas and telephone and internet bills not being a problem.
you're 17 and your cat pounces on you in a surprise attack. "HOLY F-" is what you manage to say out loud before you realize your dad is reading the newspaper in the same room; he looks up and laughs at your expression and the way you clapped your hands on your mouth in horror of almost using everyone's favourite profanity.
you're 17 and you can't stand eggs; you used to devour them as a child but now they just repulse you. ewww, eggs. you still like Marmite, though.
you're 17 and your younger brother is annoying you more than usual today. were you this irritating when you were 14? you think not! but a tiny voice inside tells you that yes, you were. you were hormonal and loud and silly and everyone must have rolled their eyes at least once whenever you opened your mouth to speak.
you're 17 and everyone around you is worrying about their university applications and their exam results. you wish that you could take part in all that commotion; that you could have some good news to look forward to as well. it's okay, maybe next year.
you're 17 and you steal a couple of cigarettes from an adult member of your household whenever you get the opportunity and smoke them in your bathroom or behind your house. and one day you get caught, but your parents understand; they were once 17 too. your dad fights to keep the grin off his face while your mum tells you that if you want to smoke, you should buy cigarettes with your own money. ("you're earning now, aren't you?") you decide that smoking can suck it, you were saving up for all those books you saw at the store.
you're 17 and you realize that your first kiss was a waste, what was a magical moment then is just an annoying memory you want to forget now. you should have waited, but you were such a young-in that time, allowing the butterflies in your tummy to take control of all your other senses.
you're 17 and you desperately need to do something awesome before the summer ends. you remember that some lady called and wanted you to tutor her kids; you were excited at the prospect of earning something extra during the holidays. she never called back.
you're 17 and your parents argue everyday but you know that's the way of most parents everywhere. you stay awake late at night and listen to your mum telling you that she's considering a divorce and try to be the understanding daughter and not cry. but then the next day everything is fine and you spot your dad cuddling your mum and you thank God and the angels for the love between your parents and for a home that isn't broken.
you're 17 and one day you taste something coppery and salty in your mouth. you spit and realize that it's the same stuff your nosebleeds contain and your entire world is reduced to the terror of the moment, the fear that something is wrong internally. is this the end? you didn't think about blood this way when you were foolishly cutting, did you? get a grip, you're only 17. but that's the thing; you're too young to get a grip. the doctor says it's going to be okay; (he glances disapprovingly at the scars on your arms while doing so.) he's probably right. he's the adult.
you're 17, and you come to the conclusion that the world is every bit as cruel as the adults say. it sucks.
you're 17, and you fall in love. you think that this is it, and even though everyone around you is skeptical and tells you that you're too young, you ignore them because it's the right thing to do. you trust your heart and you feel safe and you know everything's going to be okay.
you're 17 and you realize your entire life is ahead of you. if everything is wrong now, you can make it right. it's your life. no one can deny a 17 year old of a beautiful future; you're so cool, you deserve one.
♥
