Friday, May 1, 2020

Dear Colleague:

No, you did not reinvent the wheel by creating a folder on Google Drive for us to share documentation. Please stop seeking validation by spamming the work group chat with how your 'amazing idea' got 'approval from the boss' and how you can 'have a Zoom training session' to 'teach' people how to 'get used to' this 'new way' of sharing things.

No, you cannot message me at 11:37 pm. Working from home does not mean 'all hours are working hours'. You are 6 hours too late. Either wait for another 10 hours - or alternatively, write your question on a paper, fold it, and insert it any bodily orifice of your choosing.

No, I will not proofread your work - especially work that has nothing to do with our job in the first place! Any professional assistance I can give you only extends to that - professional. I will not spend an hour correcting your numerous grammatical and spelling errors for an essay in an irrelevant course you decided to spend your time on instead of doing your job.

Dear Me:


No, you will not validate your colleague by telling them that they have in fact, reinvented the wheel with their wondrous, innovative and never-before-used way of sharing documentation. You will not praise them for their masterfully quick thinking and their ability to right click and create new folders. You will not give them attention on their weak attempt to impress a bunch of cynical, tired and worn out colleagues who literally do not give two squats about any sort of file-sharing. FAILED 

No, you will not acknowledge any message outside working hours until the sun rises the next day. As the Michael Buble song goes: it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life... and your life after 6pm and before 9am has absolutely nothing to do with any of your colleagues. In fact, you should reply snarkily! You should tell off your colleague for disturbing your peace of mind and invading the sanctity of (what should be) your private time! FAILED

No, you will not waste your time working for free on something that is completely unrelated to your occupation or areas of expertise. Something that you will most likely not even be thanked for. Something that will have all your effort go uncredited. You will not... correct that spelling error... the way that sentence is structured... that... apostrophe placement... FAILED

No, you will not just write this on your blog like a spineless, ball-less person. You will tell your colleague about how you will not be belittled, underestimated and taken for granted. You will stand up for your time, privacy and professional limits. You will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

FAILED.

5 comments:

CRD said...

Thanks for sharing my story with everyone :p

I've been doing pretty much the same lately...proofreading shitty reports, searching for online courses for team-members, being a 'good team player'.

We wanna be good family members too, right?

The Solitary Writer said...

Yeah.. I know some people like that we work with me. I ignore.

The Solitary Writer

TR said...

Oh god, what a nightmare.

Hira said...

Love how all of us can relate. Perhaps, all have one such nightmare. Please define your boundaries and be rigid on them, I've done too.

Furree Katt said...

@CRD, I feel bad for us going through the same predicament!

@The Solitary Writer, lmao i wish I could ignore too :(

@Tazeen, YESSSSS :(

@Hira, I'm trying sis 😭