My Biggest Fear

it's bad.

it's awful.

it's horrible.

it's terrifying.

it's mortifying.

my biggest fear has been realized.

it's...

BEING TICKLED.

that's right, everyone. if there's one thing in this world that i absolutely loadespate (loathe + despise + hate), it's someone invading my personal space and wiggling their fingers around a 975180423 mm radius of me. *cringes*

it's not tickling, it's torture. what totally annoys me is that people don't realize what kind of trauma i go through at even the thought of being attacked subjected to that kind of action. my fear is so bad, it can actually be classified as a phobia (Pteronophobia).

what's worse than the thought is the actual reaction. it's not the regular "ooh haha don't you dare tickle me, dearie" type at all. it goes something like this:

Evil Human: hey Furree Katt i'm going to tickle you!

Me: *starts crying*

i'm not kidding. most of my family avoids tickling me now. i have a deathly fear of those who don't think it's as serious as i claim it to be, especially when they try to have a little fun and tickle me when i'm with them in enclosed spaces (elevators, cars). 

the reason i'm spilling out my deepest, darkest secret to you tonight is because something really awful happened a few days back and i wouldn't have been able to share it with you without giving you all the above details.

The Day My Fear Turned Into A Real Life Monster With An Incentive To Kill:

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY HIS INNOCENT SPARKLY EYES AND CHARMING HALF-SMILE. this boy was once my favourite student (never again, i tell you. NEVER. AGAIN). till the day he decided to ask me the question i've always dreaded:

"are you ticklish?"

i responded with the usual answer:

"NO, NOT AT ALL, NO WAY, NO SIRREE, WHO GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?"

he shrugged and walked away.

i thought that was the end of the entire scene. little did i know (lol, i've always wanted to use that phrase!), that disaster was waiting to unfold.

towards the end of the school day, when everyone was done with their work and we were sippin' on our Rose hanging out in the classroom with nothing to do, i stood up from where i was sitting with the intention of going to the teacher's bathroom to wash my face because i was in danger of falling asleep. turns out i didn't need a fat splash of water to wake me up, because as soon as i took a step in the direction of the classroom door, two tiny hands slithered on my waist from behind and eight fingers and two thumbs began their horrendous wiggling.

at first i didn't register what was happening. i attempted to take another step forward but i couldn't, because the little boy had his arms around me and had latched himself on tightly. when i finally realized what was going on i let out a massive 'NOOOOOOOOOO' which was so high-pitched it sounded like this:

"NEEEEEEEEEE!"

needless to say, no one rushed to my assistance because:

- they were all little kids.

- they were too busy laughing at my plight.

i was in an awful situation. i couldn't do anything drastic (shake him off vigorously, smack him) because i would be in danger of violating the Teacher's Useless Be-Nice-To-Evil-Children-No-Matter-What Code of Conduct. in between the squealing and cringing i was doing, i felt a tear escape my left eye. i feel ashamed to admit it, but yes, 'twas a very difficult time.

anyway, all this must have lasted about fifteen seconds, because right then my coordinator walked into the classroom and witnessed the horror. she then let out a giant bellow (she's allowed to shout and scream because she's the coordinator, *oohs and aahs*) which resulted in immediate relief for me as the little monster let go of me in an instant and ran back to his designated seat. the coordinator began telling him off for his behavior, tactfully not looking at me so that i could have a moment to wipe my tears (i will forever be grateful to her for that). right after that the home-time bell rang and i ran out of the classroom as fast as my short legs would take me.

x

and that, my dear BBFs (blog buddies forever - clever? :D i made it up. muahaha) was the most traumatic experience i have had with a student of mine. there are way more horrific situations i have had to deal with concerning tickling, but when it comes to work, this one takes the cake. and the entire buffet.

lessons learned:

- expel any student who asks if you're ticklish, so that they don't get a chance to do the deed

- go to work equipped with a taser  

and yeah, that's about it. if any of you even think of tickling me at any point, our friendship/blogship is over. goodnight.