Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Truth About FWD Mails

How many times have we been explicitly annoyed with the constant flow of the much dreaded 'forward mail' in our email inbox? These forward (or more commonly known by their 'FWD' abbreviation) mails have made emailing a pain in the butt with their often uselessness. According to me, the evil FWD mail can be broken down into four main forms:


That's right, kids. there's the Quiz mail, with a link to a website that often requires you to answer useless questions and find out even more useless (and often untrue) things about yourself.
There's the ever popular 'Chain' mail, which threatens you with impossible things like death by an exploding purple cellphone charger or a fatal wound inflicted by the mythical Chupacabra if you do not pass it on. These often require you to count backwards from 100 and then make a wish while spitting in your hand.
Then there's the 'funny pictures' mail, which isn't so bad. It mostly contains pictures of women drivers getting into accidents or someone's baby being cute by peeing in a soup bowl. The novelty wears off when the same pictures are sent to you over and over again by fifty-million different people. That's when you feel happy about all those accidents and you hope that the baby actually drank the soup.
Finally, there's the 'emotional, tear-jerking true story' email containing a totally fake and made-up account of people doing stupid things in the name of love/loyalty/cows.

BUT (yes, there's a but), there is a fifth form of the FWD mail, and that's the one containing valuable information. These forward mails have been a great help to me from time to time, and I shall give you the most recent examples as to why.

- The Day My iPod Stopped Working
It was like the end of the world for me. My iPod had been one of my most prized possessions ever since my parents had gifted it to me on my fifteenth birthday. I had spilled water all over it, and it wasn't switching on or charging. In the midst of my panic, I miraculously remembered an email I had received a couple of months prior to the incident about fixing iPods at home at zero cost. In a hurry, I opened my email, and after a couple of minutes I found what I was looking for. Someone had forwarded me an email about covering the wet iPod in dry rice and leaving it that way for 24 hours. The rice would absorb the water and the iPod would work again. I tried it, and it worked.

i hope the fact that i have a purple ipod nano is understandable through this picture.

- The Day My Grandfather Had A Stroke
We were all eating dinner when he collapsed in his chair. In twenty seconds he regained consciousness but his speech was slurred. Everyone was in a frenzy. A week and a half before it happened, I had read something in my email about certain things a person must do to figure out if another person has had a stroke or not. They were to. a. Ask the person to repeat any sentence after you. b. Ask the person to smile. c. Ask the person to raise their hands. If they are unable to do one or more of these things, they have most probably had a stroke and should be taken to a hospital within an hour. My grandfather was able to raise his hands, but his smile was lopsided and he couldn't coherently repeat what we were asking him to say. Identifying what had happened to him cleared our minds off of the confusion, and we were able to act and react fast to whatever was happening. My grandfather was taken to the hospital super quick, and in a few days he made a full recovery.

- The Day I Burnt My Hand
I blame my own stupidity for getting into that mess in the first place. The kettle was boiling, and like an idiot I put my hand over the steam emitting from the spout to see how hot it was. 


Let me tell you folks, it was SO BLOODY HOT. My hand got burnt. Luckily I had a small packet of flour inside the fridge. I had read in a FWD email that cold flour heals burns instantly and does not leave a single mark or a trace of pain. I applied the cold flour on the place where I had scalded myself, and when I washed it off (I had kept it on for ten minutes) there was absolutely no sign of any burning except a slight pinkish tinge to my skin (which faded within an hour). No blisters or puckering or peeling or any sort of pain at all. It was miraculous. One of my cousins had burnt her finger a bit while handling a hot pan, and her dad had forced her to apply ice to it. I was there at that time, and I told her to put flour on it instead. She settled for applying flour on one half of her finger and ice on the other. The place where the flour was applied had absolutely no marks and it had stopped hurting. The place where she applied ice however, turned into a blister.

x

So you see, after these incidents, whenever I receive a FWD email with a promising title (e.g. 'this is good for your health' or 'how to do so-and-so' etc), I never fail to go through it. Such information is great to be read and passed around. It could really help someone in their time of need.

But if someone ever forwards me a picture of a happy pooping cow and expects me to find it funny, I will find them. And then cut them up into a million pieces and then find that happy pooping cow and STUFF THE PIECES IN ITS MOUTH!!!!!!!!

Goodnight.

26 comments:

Aliza Khan said...

Hahahahaha I never read any of the fwd mails that I get :P and since my memory really sucks so no point in reading them if I'm not gonna remember a thing :P

-Fahad Naeem- said...

Lolz, I never knew that you can write a informative blog posts too :P
It was a cool one and specially the pictures :P

normal.is.overrated. said...

I never, never read or forward the fwd mails ever :P even the ones 'good for your health' thingy never bother to :P

quartertoinsane said...

junk junk junk... empty junk.

PS: Chupacabras are real...

y.hayat said...

Hahahaha so true! I never even bother to read these forward messages -_- Suchay pain.
Oh and you're brilliant with paint :D

It'sJodie-Ann,Bro. said...

LMAO! I ignore all the FWD emails I get. Actually, I have an email that all my friends know of and I never go on it. There are over 6000 unread emails. LOL. All Facebook and other websites' notifications and FWD emails. xD

the other side of me said...

WOW..forwarded mail do work wonders for you!!!

Yeah some of the mails really irritates..and that flour tips seems to be good..will keep that on my mind

Right.Good Morning <3

Twefrence said...

Loved this blog post. Why?
Because they are so true.
Back when I was "younger" like when I was 12? I actually still forwarded those spam emails (as I call it =P)
and they used to come from EVERYONE, now the only person who spams me with chain mails is.
My mother. ==

I don't dare to open links of any kind =P Afraid that it'll give me some sort of virus, and the WORST kind of chain mail is the ones that threaten to kill you or give you bad luck for 10 years or whatever.

And the "funny pictures" fwd mails are only funny the first time too =P (like you stated =P)
and the stories? I read the first sentence and delete them =P
bcz
a) I may or may not have already read them a long time ago
b) they're fake
c) they waste my time

but yes, my mum has actually sent some useful stuff to me too.
Like what I should do and where to hide during an earthquake.

However, sometimes I don't even know if the info she sends me is actually accurate. Cz she sends me those stories about "how the person got kidnapped" or "how this person got in jail bcz of helping another" etc...

Aaishah said...

Chain mails scare me. But overall, cool post. Loved every bit of it. The how-to-cure-your-burnt-hand will most prolly be tried caz I burn myself a lot. :P

aakash said...

Yes, home coming... :D Missed your space.. I really did, and the funny sketches.

I don't know, I have this inborn hatred for anything that is forwarded from mails to sms, I just can't read beyond the first couple of words. I would rather stumble upon the so called funny pictures and stuff, but reading your post, I do need to give it a second thought. However, I still doubt if one can trust the facts from a random unknown mail.

Yayyyy! Furrreeeee!! Yaayyyy!!!
:D
aJ

cricketfreak said...

I kinda read the forwarded mails but I never forward them. I haven't died yet, so :D

ishashime said...

ah yes, email forwards. i find them extremely annoying, honestly. but after reading about you saving your iPod, your grandpa, your hand and your cousin's finger (well, half of it) because you read about them in email forwards, then i guess some of them really are worth a look. :D

Tazeen said...

Bahahaha! Did you really do all this?! THIS IS SO FUNNY! :D

Lioness Without A Pride said...

Yeah, and there're those ones that carry a warning, about how women should always check for pinhole cameras and the like in changing rooms, or how packaged pasta is actually exposed to rat-poo, and stuff like that that make you super paranoid.

But, for people that don't get much useful mail, these sure are worthy substitutes.

TWO POSTS WITHIN THE SAME WEEK! :O :O :O ♥ ♥ You LAAVVVVVVV us, don't cha! :D

Sana Castellano said...

Furree, I want you to check your hotmail. =p
I hope ur grandfather lives a long happy healthy life.
xo

Rebecca said...

It's so true about the first four types haha. But thanks to this post, I've learnt a few tips :D Shame I don't get useful FWD emails :/

Miss Sassy Pants said...

One time I got a Myspace message telling me Keenan from Keenan and Kel died. I thought it was true until about two days ago.

Turns out he is alive and well. Horray!

animalover said...

Lucky you - actually getting forward mail with 'valuable information'! Most of mine are the 'do this or you will die' type.

Btw, I love your blog! :)

Albert Einstein☺ said...

I oftenly received FWD emails and their clogging my inbox. What I did? I deleted them all it's not normal if I will keep all of those. Very informative post!

mayen said...

I usually ignore forwarded emails. Maybe I should try and check this time around if they are worth reading, like what you said if the mail is health related or how to. I'm glad you managed to revive your ipod. That burn remedy is also great. I am very clumsy that I get burn all the time. Now I know what to do. thanks for sharing all these info furree.. :)

Zeba said...

Ah. That was such good luck that you knew what to do when your grandpa had a stroke. I am glad to know he is perfectly fine now. Alhumdullilah. I read the entire post. But have no comments to make on any other bits. :-)

Martin Alexander said...

This is why I don't actually use my e-mail account, haha!
My dad sent me a chain text once, though... It mentioned something about forwarding to 7 people before midnight of Baby Jesus would punish me or something.

I didn't forward anything, but surely enough I had a really-really bad week and now my sisters laugh at me and remind me of how Baby Jesus was tormenting me.
Honestly! First of all, I'm agnostic...

Also, one of the guys at work once spilled boiling hot water all over his hand and his skin just got gross and ballooned to horror-movie proportions. It was pretty horrid, and it eventually got infected, but he's cool now.

Anyhow, super excellent entry, Furree!
A little on the random side - even for you! Not complaining by any means... - but still excellent, nonetheless!

Menachery said...

hahahh.. oh my the pain in the a double s, mails... grrrr.. and if u dnt 4wd it u dnt luv ur parents , or neighbors dog stuff, aaargghhh ... but honestly beautiful post ... :)

Jack said...

Furree,

Read 2 posts as well as navigated to your guest post. Enjoyed antics of your students. Please wish your friend from my side and I pray that she has all the happiness showered on her. I agree with you that men and women have different roles to play but that should not be used as an excuse to degrade a woman. Mutual respect is a must. Factual post on forwarded mails. Thanks for sharing some useful tips from forwarded mails.

Take care

PS : Hope you are feeling fine now as you mentioned you did not go to school due to being sick.

Furree Katt said...

@Aliza, lol!

@Fahad, haha glad you liked it! :)

@normal.is.overrated, yeah lol that's completely understandable :)

@quartertoinsane, that would actually be quite scary O.O you know they allegedly eat only goats?

@y.hayat, thank you so much :) ♥

@Jodie, LOL i always feel guilty if i don't read an email (except the advertising/general spam/scam ones) :O

@the other side of me, thanks! :) i'm glad you found the flour tips useful :D

@Twefrence, thank you! ♥ that means a lot.
LOL, your mum! hahah that is too cute.
and yeah sometimes the accuracy of such emails isn't too great. :O

@Aaishah, thanks! :D i'm glad you found something useful for you in my post.

@aakash, aww thank you sooo much! *big hug*
well you are correct, some emails can't be trusted. but usually those are the ones that say 'hotmail will delete your account in ten days!!!'
you always leave the awesomest comments. yay! :)

@cricketfreak, hahaha that's good :)

@ishashime, LOL! thank you :D ♥

@Tazeen, indeed i did. thanks! :D

@Lioness Without A Pride, true that. but better safe than sorry, right? :O i hate the ones that claim that the end of the world is near due to mars becoming a mutant planet or something. :O
hahah yes i dooo love youuu! ♥

@Sana, LOL I SAW -_- :P thanks haha.
amen to that ♥

@Rebecca, :D! aww well i'll send you some useful mail if you give me your email address. :P

@Miss Sassy Pants, thank goodness for that!

@animalover, :) thank you sooo muchhh.

@mayen, thanks for your lovely comment! :D i'm glad some of the mails i got will be useful for you too :) and yes some FWD mails are always worth checking out. love you lots! ♥

@Zeba, thank you so much! ♥ :) and haha that's all right.

@Martin, hahah Baby Jesus! :O
well, you know Murphy's Law - "if anything can go wrong, it will" - and usually if you think about something (like your week) not being that great due to something you did/didn't do then it usually turns out that way lol.
and ouch! that guy ought to have put flour on his burns.
thank you sooo much :D ♥ i'm glad you liked this post! i'm just putting in some effort to post more often haha.

@Menachery, LOL that is so true! thank you :)

@Jack, thank you so much :) i will definitely wish my friend. i'm glad you liked all my posts. and yes, i'm feeling much better, thank you :D

♪♪Happy Go Lucky♪♪ said...

I don't think I've ever got forwards of the fifth kind!!
That was awesome!

Rofl @ the last lines!!