Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The neverending awkwardness.

Home 1
mum: don't you take that tone with me, young lady! otherwise i'll get you married!
me: ...

Home 2
my brother: i hope you get married soon.
me: why?!
my brother: so that your husband can play PlayStation 3 with me since you're no good at it.
me: ...

Relative's Place 1
old lady who i'm somehow related to: my dear you have grown up so much!
dad: yes, she has, hasn't she?
old lady w.i.s.r.t.: how old are you now, child?
me: seventeen.
old lady w.i.s.r.t.: *gasps* seventeen! we must get you married immediately!
dad: *grins*
me: ...

Relative's Place 2
Aunt: who are you texting?
me: nobody.
Aunt: ohhhhh, i see.
me: i'm not texting anybody.
Aunt: boyfriend, eh? *winks*
me: ...

(i was not texting anyone. forgive me if checking my cellphone for the time is Heinous Crime #1)

Work 1
young teacher (she's 21): i haven't seen you for so long even though we work in the same building!
me: i know, i barely get time to come down to the basement anymore.
young teacher: so, how have you been?
me: pretty much normal, you?
young teacher: i've been great. anything new?
me: not really.
young teacher: nothing? but there must be something. eh eh? *sly grin*
me: *confused* no, not really.
young teacher: nothiiiiiing? *wiggles eyebrows*
me: ... no.
young teacher: well my relationship has been going great. me and him meet every single day!
me: *realization dawns* oh.
young teacher: so, have anything to tell me?
me: no.
young teacher: *eyeroll*

Work 2
Random Teacher: oh wow, you look lovely today!
me: really? thank you!
Random Teacher: really. you look absolutely radiant!
me: aww, thanks.
Random Teacher: you look like you're in love!
me: ...

Work 3
student: Miss where is your husband?
me: i don't have a husband.
student: why? did he die?
me: no, i'm not married.
student: then how come you are a teacher, Miss?
me: ...

WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME?!

61 comments:

AL said...

Lollll Furreeeeeeeeeeeeee
hahhahaahahhh

kids are awesomeee

reverieriver said...

student: Miss where is your husband?
me: i don't have a husband.
student: why? did he die?
me: no, i'm not married.
student: then how come you are a teacher, Miss?
me: ...

Hahah! Loved that one! I used to get that a lot! Not the 'did he die' bit, though! :D

I can't say this enough, but I LOVE your blog, Furree! <3

Crimson Coral said...

ROFL ROFL!!!!!
Stupid aunties make me go mad!

=P

by the way..

are you single? *naughty grin*

LOL just kidding!

Hamza Bin Ladin said...

LOL..!

I love your brother!!!!!!
He sounds great..!!!

Mia Mirza said...

Buhahaha!!! People have serious issues =P

H.T said...

haha I so understand you .
parho ge nahi tou shadi kr daein gae :p

Randomhyper. said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA I FKIN LOVED THIS POST!

Especially the desperation at the end ''WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME?!''

That's how it is here, in Pk *rolls eyes* they think that just as soon as a gilr is 17 or whatever, and she's not studying (ESPECIALLY if she's not studying) jaldi jaldi se is ki shaadi karwaa do. The only way I got my relatives (and parents) off my back was getting stuck in a 5 year program, haha. To be a doctor. Now they've all drawn back. GOOD RIDDANCE.

Chaos said...

well I feel like dying then. I want the earth to open up and swallow me. :P
but then people will say... "oh that poor, oh-so-unfortunate girl! Died a virgin! haye haye!"

Soooo... I tell them my next party plans (imaginary at times) just to see their conservative mouths fall open for a change. :P

Cardinal Ruby said...

haha
this was thoroughly entertaining :D

Twefrence said...

Hahahaa. Sometimes I'm very curious about Pakistani girls who are just teenagers. It seems like their parents, relatives etc REALLY want them to get married and hv kids or smt... Whereas (well in my case) my mum is like "you should get married at a later age like 28..it's better for you, you should date someone more mature, like 8 years older than you (me:WTH!?) and your education is much more important, so don't rush into gettin a boyfriend, they are all just playing with you. You have to be independent, don't rely on guys... Once she actually did this: "who's that on your messenger list?" me: "oh my friends younger brother" mum: "why do you hv him on your list!?" Me: "um.. cz he added me n i know him? AND he's my ex-classmate??" Mum: "delete him" me: "why????" mum: "just delete him" me: *deletes him* *secretly adds him back after she leaves* =P)

Lioness Without A Pride said...

THE LAST ONE WAS THE BEST AHAHAAHAHAH

ishashime said...

lolwhut. my parents and everyone around me always tell me to study first and leave the love stuff for later. haha. it gets pretty annoying too after a while.
also, i laughed at your brother's reason. it's a good one. xD

Kuroneko said...

HAHAHA

Happens to me too :D

Especially the phone thing!It's Heinous Crime #1 whenever you do it infront of relatives :P

Martin Alexander said...

My initial response was that what they all really want from you is just plain happiness.
You seem to be more than well liked by many enough individuals in your life (for some reason... haha), but yeah, those are my deductive reasoning skills at work!

I, on the other hand, am continuously told to hold off on marriage and kids until much later on and "enjoy" my life while I still can (their words, not mine).

On a separate note, have you any interest in writing outside of blogger?
You certainly do seem to have a knack for it!

Fatimaa.S said...

Hahahhahahahahaha. I know how uncomfortable you'd be feeling at that time! And the last one was so adorable. Epiiiiic :D

Mr. Gargus said...

XD Omg this is your funniest post by far! Play the playstation 3 because your no good at it! (roflroflrofl) omg your brother's awesome! Is it normal for Pakistani girls to be married off at your age like that or something?

"Then how come you are a teacher, Miss?" XD hahahahahaha that one was my favorite!

Apparently, they want you to marry immediately. Probably to a handsome American guy you met on blogger........what?

:P

Love You Furree!

Ashley said...

Oh geez I did the most unattractive snort-giggling thing throughout this whole post.

I guess you can't simply look radiant on a regular day without having a man responsible for it hahahaha

The Lady of Green Origin said...

Oh dear me, that's ridiculous!
You're a strong independent woman! Haha.

Oh and by the way,
I heard you had a special someone.

Just kidding.

But not really.

No, I'm kidding.

I know, I'm not funny.

[[aashi]] said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!! :D

Sorry. :P But this is typical Pakistani mentality. Freaks me out, too. So I just stopped talking to old/older people. :P

delerium ΦΚΘ said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS POST! I'm sitting in my school's library laughing out loud @_@ I LOVE your brother's response and the students are adorablee as always hahahaha.
I knoww how it goes for girls there but its somewhat similar even for boys sometimes.. I don't plan on getting married before I'm done with my Med school and I'm only 18 now anyways but my brother's 25 and my parents literally talk to him about getting married EVERY OTHER DAY hahaha we all tease him about it.
And there's no such thing as having girlfriends who are just.. friends you know minus the like/love part. If you're talking to a girl on phone, YOU DEFINITELY LIKE HER! hahahahaha but good luck with keeping up being single ;)

BTW I'm 6'2 170 pounds athletic, same religion, prospective med skewl student and v nice bizniz. *attaches picture in formal attire*
plz fwd request to family kthxbai

AHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA take careee Furree

Sana Castellano said...

OMG. HAHAHAHAHA -- FURRREEE =P too much of marriage talks going around you. Look at me, I am 21 and around where I am, I am still a kiddie =P
17 is soo young.

BUT these CRACKED ME UP =D
Tell you what? PLEASE turn all of these into a comic. It'll be a hit.!

PS : next time some random aunty asks you about marriage or love -- come up with something really SCARY. Like, no, I killed him. =S
Or may be, yes, he ll be here soon, he is at the parlor getting a manicure and pedicure right now. =O

¤•˚Zαìήαβ˚•¤ said...

ahahaha that was hilariously cute! especially with the student =)

xx

strange girl said...

Haha, that was hilarious! The push towards marriage is a cultural thing in Pakistan. It's not that bad in America, but the aunties start talking if you're not engaged by the time you end up in college.
Don't let the pressure get to you, though. You'd be surprised at how many people become unhappy later.

Simply.Aya said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I swear I was ROFL was I read this! TOOO CUTE!
Since obviously marriage hasn't been on your mind[; What do you want to do in the future? I'm curious.

Jodie-Ann said...

LOL!
...
Excuse me, Miss Furree Katt but... I was wondering... are you married? :D
...I'm just messin' witcha! XD

Ash said...

Hahahah that last one was the best.

Good readin'.

Multibrand said...

Hi Furree Katt,

I think they all meant well, in the sense that you are a beautiful girl therefore they are very sure that you must be married or at least have a boyfriend (or boyfriends ?).

Don't worry, be happy, stay positive and keep on smiling.

iZaynab said...

/ l a u g h ~ ! ! !
They sure want you to get married, huh ~?
& " Did he die ", classic.

cLai ♥ said...

I love your students...♥
love love love them....
it makes me laugh

Hazel said...

LOL. All this relationship and marry talk makes me feel weird.

xD

OMG FURREE, WE NEED TO FIND YA A MAN. xD <3

Tazeen said...

*Grins* Seriously? Haha! :D

Aabi said...

OY OY! ur booked for me :P <3

Furree Katt said...

@AL, haha yesss they are :D

@reverieriver, yay you, for knowing how it feels like :D
aww thank you so much. i love you and your blog too! ♥

@Crimson Coral, tell me about it!
and i LOL-ed at your question :D

@Hamza, haha yes my brother is funny :D you and him share the same birthday (April 7), that is so cool!

@Mia M, i completely agree :D

@H.T, i swear, how can they be so mean haha :P

@Randomhyper, thank you :D ♥
and LOL, you are soooo lucky :O

@Chaos, i know the feeling! and ahahah 'haye haye' HAHAHA
i can never make up party plans :( no one would believe me, they know i'm Introvert #1 when it comes to socializing. :D

@Cardinal Ruby, thanks for finding my misfortunes entertaining :P

@Twefrence, well the general mindset of everyone revolves around family life more than education haha.
28 IS TOO OLD! imagine having kids at 30+ :O
LOL at the messenger thing hahaha i used to get that a lot, but till i was 14. i'm glad for protective parents that way, because i think i can use the freedom i have now in the correct way. but at that time it was veryyy annoying :P

@Lioness Without A Pride, i know, right? :D

@ishashime, LET'S SWAP! :D and yes, my brother's reason is true haha :(

@Kuroneko, *highfiiive* I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO USE MY PHONE IN FRONT OF RELATIVESSSS!

@Martin, (i typed in El Demonio and then backspaced) most probably only the old lady had good intentions. my mama used marriage as a THREAT haha. and thank you! i'm glad that people like me. i like you :D
don't you have a girlfriend :O if you don't, GET ONE! then blog about your relationship :P
i do write other stuff which isn't blog-related, i've always loved writing. thank you :D

@Fatimaa, uncomfortable is an understatement! but yeah :P

@Mr. Gargus, thanks for the support -______-
haha my brother's reason is totally valid. i avoid that dastardly machine because i have no clue what to do with it. (except WWE Smackdown Vs Raw, i can play that B).)
the last one was my favourite too :D
it's common for a Pakistani girl in her teens to get married, but people's mindsets are becoming more westernized and stuff, and the ideal marriage-y age for women in urban areas is around 21-27. after that they're old and unwanted haha :P but yes, being married at 17 will not be frowned upon by society, i know loads of people who will be really happy for me if i announce an engagement or something right about now :P
and HAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSS I SHALL MARRYYYYYYYYY THE HANDSOME AMERICAN BLOGGER! ♥
love you too :D

@Ashley, i wantz to hear that. :P and i know that's really annoying! plus if girls look not-that-happy people automatically assume it's because of boy troubles haha

@The Lady of Green Origin, you are adorable and I LOVE YOU! and yes, you're funny too :D
i don't know what you heard but whatever it is, it's not true (unless it's something about how much i love cats).

@[[aashi]], lol, yes i know :P and lucky you but 3/4th of my family is old people hahaha
p.s. thanks for the follow! :D ♥

@delerium, don't you know, laughing is not allowed in the library! :O
i know how it is for guys. every male relative around me is (being forced to or already is) engaged and they're 20 through 27. my dad and mum got married when they were both 18 haha :P engaged when 17.
LOL completely agreeing on that one, Desi Family knows no such thing as friends of the opposite sex!
DUDE THX I SHALL FWD DAT TO MAH MUM ♥ and V NICE BIZNIZ? it's a definite yes then, because deep down its all about the munny.
:D ♥

@Sana, YOUR TIME WILL COME :P
i shall try the comic-thing haha. and i LOVED your suggestions! the mani-pedi one was too funny hahaha

Furree Katt said...

@¤•˚Zαìήαβ˚•¤, thank you, glad you laaaiiikkedd :D

@strange girl, but that's the thing, my parents got engaged at 17 and married at 18 and they are HAPPY! that's the biggest example right there which cannot be avoided haha :P i just don't like the aunties.

@Simply.Aya, THANK YOU ♥ :D
well actually i DO want to marry, i just don't want to be rushed into it right now. like after a couple of years it won't seem like a ridiculous idea at all. i want to be married at 20, you see :O
i still want to be a teacher, though :D fun!

@Jodie-Ann, HAHAHAHAHAHA :P

@Ash, thank you :D

@Multribrand, aww thank you so much! :)
i shall definitely stay happy as long as everyone stops talking about marriage haha :P

@iZaynab, it's like they want to see me married before the world ends in 2012 hahaha
and yes, 'did he die' was too funny! :P

@cLai♥, haha thank you so much! i love them too :D

@Hazel, same here! and LOL NOOOOOO HAHAHAHA

@Tazeen, haha YES! :(

@Aabi, tell my mum/dad/old-lady-relative/aunt/colleagues/students that, PLEASE :P ♥

Zy said...

Haha awww Furree. The guy you marry will be really lucky ^.^

Aseela Haque said...

WHY DID HE DIE HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHA

Twefrence said...

Hahaa, nahh. Loads of ppl hv kids over 30 =P My uncle had been married for years but never had a kid, he's like almost 50 now and still single =P (He divorced) and he freaking has a 20+ smt year old girlfriend == Yeah, I don't get it either. (nah, he's not that rich. hahah)
I know! 28 seems old for women... but dno, how bout 27ish? =P
No need to rush into getting married =P I'd rather take my time and decide properly =P
Ahh. yes she no longer spies on my friends online but I still can't "go out" as in "hang around" with guys ... Or even just girls for that matter, "you don't hv time to go out, you must study, your exams are coming up" HAH! There's an exam every MONTH! ==. Blah =P

ShuShu said...

Gosh... people here usually don't get married at all, or get married after 28!! And your brother's comment was the FUNNIEST hahahaha. Love this post!
And you;'re ALWAYS lovely!!!

HELLO LONG TIME NO SEE!!! :D

SHuRIn

AnotherAnonymous said...

hahahaha hilaaaarious! =p

Baakh said...

HAHAHHAHAHHAHA. Oh lord!

PurpleMist. said...

OMG HAHAHAHAHA...
the last one made me choke on my coffee!
hahaha.. sorry I just can't help but laugh. Don't worry though, Pakistani people are like that, it annoys me too! Like, I'm a freaking teenager, leave me alone! My mom is always saying things like 'if you don't learn these things, what will you do once you get married?!' (talking about housework :P)
Gosh, I know how frustrated you feel. Just ignore them and tell them to leave you alone, you're too young to be married :D
Pakistani culture is so old-fashioned -.- :P

[[[ x Smiley x ]]] said...

LOL!
your time is near :P

The Me. said...

This was Fuuuuuuny. And not very surprising. Haha :D
Marraige obsessed women. ^.^

delerium ΦΚΘ said...

HAHAHHAHAHA I KNOW RIGHT.. Such a cliche.
AAP WOH SUB CHORAIN AAP YAY BATAYAIN.. LARKA KARTA KYA HAI? SALARY KITNI HAI? HAHAHAHAHA

*I hope you can understand what I wrote above LOL*

Steve Bossenberger said...

I would say there is a little pressure there...

Saaleha said...

Hahahahaha awww, the student's comment.

Ayesha said...

OMG! Haha.... no words for this one =D So when are you getting married? *innocent tone* =p

chocolatemilk said...

Hahaha okay you are hilarious and very true :P

Maryam said...

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Lmao. AMAZING MAN!
Your student is like omg-so-freakin-awesome.
P.s Dont get married rightnow. Its too early. :D

Julie Iliana said...

OMG, I HAVE to read this again tomorrow and the next day and the next! this is hilarious! :D

looooove it!
PS- love how you wrote it all! almost like a comic strip or something, heh.

X

Furree Katt said...

@Zy, :D awww thanks!

@Aseela, haha i knooow!

@Twefrence, oh LOL! well that's pretty uncommon here :P haha well i used to have difficulty when it came to 'hanging out' as well, but now that i'm independently earning i have the privilege to make my own decisions :P

@ShuShu, that's not how it works here! but i suppose that's the most practical thing to do in life haha. yes my brother is always like that :P and HELLOO! ♥

@AnotherAnonymous, thanksssss :D

@Baakh, thank you! :P

@PurpleMist, i hope you didn't spill anything :P and LOL you know i think i've undergone Desi Housewife Training, i know how to cook (a few things only :P), wash clothes, wash dishes, iron and fold clothes, clean my own room and rooms around the house in general, plus i'm working and stuff so OMG I IZ A MARRIAGE CANDIDATE MYSELF!
and yes, i completely agree :P

@[[[ x Smiley x ]]], NOOOOOOOOOO hahaha

@The Me, thank you :D and yes, it's every aunty's number one priority to see their jawaan-larki-in-their-family get married!

@delerium, HAHAHAHHAHA yes i understoooooooood :P

@Steve, UNDERSTATEMENT!

@Saaleha, haha yes, 'twas funny and cute :P

@Ayesha, DUDE NOOOOO :P not soon haha

@chocolatemilk, aww thank you! :D and thanks for the follow as well :D

@Maryam, LOL WOMAN, WHAT'S SO AMAZING ABOUT MY PLIGHT?! :P and yes, he is awesome :P
don't worry, i know it's early :P

@Julie, haha thanks! ♥ i'm glad you like it :)

Maryam said...

Hahahaha, I dont know. Everything's just so amazing about the post. :P

Arjun Rajkhowa said...

I am going to split to pieces with laughter! Super, super. I love this: "...".

Furree Katt said...

@Arjun, aww thank you so much! i'm glad you liked it. i was thinking of alternate reactions but '...' pretty much summed up my speechlessness.
and thank you for following me, you can't imagine how happy i was when i saw you in the list. :D

Moonie said...

HAHAHA. aunties. haha.

sanscenario said...

it gets worse the older you get.

and i HAAATED when aunties used to try and trick me into talking about boyfriends. little did they know that my love life was unfulfilled crushes and creeps crushing on me. HA!

joke's on you, old ladies! oh wait. no, it's on me.

Furree Katt said...

our family is a big one for being nosy. the aunties we have are like no other.

Vice Versa said...

HAHAHAHA. DUDE, i think i'm in love with you a little bit. MARRY ME. I'll get a sex change for you. :p

I'm SO glad my family's not the "GET MARRIED NOW!" type.
although i DO get a few threats to get me married off if i start complaining about how awful it is to study and how my brain is dying.
They're just joking though. I hope.
I feel bad for my older cousins, who my grandmum is determined to get married as soo as possible. Some of the prospective larkas are SO funny I feel bad for them a little bit. :p

Furree Katt said...

@Vice Versa, HIIIII! i love you too! ♥
dude yes we should totally get married.
you really are a lucky person, with the chill-marriage-aint-such-a-biggie mindset your family has. JEALOUSSS!
hahahaha prospective larkas are always.. well, not that great. HAHAHA
thanks for the follow :)

Russian Bear said...

This is an old post and I'm commenting on it now. Now what would your reaction be to all of that? You can e-mail me the reply.. Love you!

herenownotforever said...

hahahaha

sorry im going through your old post...well im not that sorry...lol
so funny